Uzumaki no Kyuubi
by Kyuuki-sama
Summary: Bad title. Better then it sounds, I hope. Warnings and summary inside. This is a normal story about Uzumaki Naruto, the Konoha ninja. He is a normal boy, no Jinchuuriki, and the civilians hate him... Wait- NO JINCHUURIKI! Meet his twin: Uzumaki Kyuubi!
1. Enter the Uzumaki Twins!

**Summary: **What if the Kyuubi wasn't a demon? What if it was Naruto's twin sister? Uzumaki Kyuubi is the older twin and Kenjutsu user, Naruto is powerful... Wait... Akatsuki is still after them? Why? And Uzumaki Kushina, the twins mother, is the late Yondaime Mizukage and the leader of the 7 Swordsmen? Kyuubi is the new owner of her sword, Hyokoden? What is this?

_I've read a bit of a story where Kushina is the Yondaime Mizukage and the leader of 7 Swordsmen, and I beg the creator pardon for taking the idea, but I'm not coping your fic. I just loved the idea about Naruto's mother and got an own idea how to use it._

**Warning: **Powerful!Naruto, Powerful!OC, OCC-ness, None-demon Kyuubi, four members in team 7, might be bad jokes, cursing, techniques from _Claymore_.

**Pairings: **Undecided if it even will be pairings...

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**Typing:**

Narrating  
_Scene shift/Flashback/Time shift  
_"Talking"  
'_Thinking'  
_'Quoting'  
Jutsu  
**Written message  
**'**Inner/Demon Speaking**'  
'_**Inner/Demon Thinking**_'  
"_Scream from far away_"  
"**Hologram speak**" (Yes, it is the Akatsuki holograms I mean)  
(Author comment)

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**If I did own Naruto, Naruto would kick ass, I would be in as the Kyuubi's younger sister, Sasuke would die, everyone in Akatsuki would be alive ('specially Hidan), Naruto wouldn't be in love with Sakura: He would be in love with a girl that likes him, Shikamaru and Temari should be getting married and girls should be more powerful then boys (beside fan-girls, they are always weaker then boys! FOREVER!!). **This is just my way to say that I don't own Naruto. I don't own any techniques from Claymore I put in either. Now, can you _please _remove the shyte from my neck, Hidan?

* * *

Words can harm you more then kicks and hits. Why where they telling him such bad things? Why did they think he was a monster? Why did they think Kyuubi was a monster? The blond boy shivered where he was hiding from the mob at their birthday, October the 10th, the same day as two minor demons was killed by the Yondaime Hokage. Every birthday they had been hunted by mobs. He turned his head and saw his twin sister Kyuubi, or Kyu-chan as he called her, sit in her hiding place. They where seven now, and lived at their own in a apartment. Next day they where going to start the Shinobi Academy, but first they had to escape the mob and get to the Hokage's office.

He nodded slowly to his sister and she grinned. So they ran inside the building and started to stealthy get to the Hokage's office without any problem. Kyuubi got first and knocked before she opened the door.

"JII-CHAN!!", she called out and the old man looked up from the papers. "Mobs are chasing us again! They are evil!!"

"Kyuubi-chan, Naruto-kun, welcome in", the old man smiled. "So there was mobs after you again?"

"Yeah!", the blond boy, Naruto, called out. "And this time it was some Chuunins with them! Jii-chan, we are scared!"

As the man started to calm Naruto down Kyuubi tripped over something, and hit her head in a box that was standing against the wall, the box tipped and broke when it connected with the floor. A huge sword of crystal slided out at the floor, as big as a full-grown woman. The twins blinked and then Kyuubi squealed.

"Wow! A sword! I love swords! I wonder if I can be taught Kenjutsu? It would be awesome!", she called out in happiness and grabbed the sword, and tried to lift it, using so much force it flew up in the celling. "So light... I'll get it down!"

Said and done, she jumped, grabbed the handle and drew it down to the ground. The Hokage blinked. It had been needed ten ANBU to carry the old sword in its box to his office.

"Who's the swords owner, Jii-chan?", the twins asked at the same time.

"Actually, the owner is death. Her name was Kushina, former ninja from the Whirlpool country and the Yondaime Mizukage. As well as the only one that could fight against the Yondaime Hokage and get a tie", he explained. "But I guess the sword belongs to you now, Kyuubi. In Kushina's will she wrote that she would give the sword to the woman that did think the sword is light..."

"YAY!!", said girl squealed. "Jii-chan, I want to learn to use this claymore!"

For that was what the sword was: A huge claymore. The Hokage sighed.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_About 5 years later..._

Iruka was annoyed. It was supposed to be the Genin exams that day and two of the student's hadn't appeared yet, or else every person at the last bench would be inching away from a redhead save from a blondie. Right at cue the door was kicked open and his two missing students came in.

One was a female with a senbon needle in her mouth. Her unruly, red hair was shoulder-length and her eyes was the brightest green. She was wearing a red tank-top over a black net-skirt with sleeves that stopped at her arm-bows, a pair of black, finger-less gloves, a pair of black trousers that stopped a inch above her ankle joints at the left leg and right above her knee at her right leg. She was also wearing black ninja-sandals. The thing that made people afraid of her wasn't only her attitude, but also her so-called jewellery. As a necklace she wore ten kunai around her neck with the help of steel wire, in her pierced right ear there hung three shuriken and around her arms she had a total of thirteen 'bracelets' of senbons or shuriken. And completing the look there was a huge claymore of crystal strapped to her back, and the weapon was larger then her. She flashed a toothy, evil grin at the girls in her age.

The other one was a male with short, golden-blond hair that was standing in all directions with crystal blue eyes, and he looked different from his twin. In their personality, he was her yang, and for one year ago he would have been in bright orange, but his sister had gotten another style at him. He was shorter then her, but smiled all the time. He was dressed in a black t-skirt with orange sleeves over a black net-skirt with sleeves that stopped one inch from his ankles. At his hands he wore gauntlets with sharp metal-claws and around his harms metal wire was wrapped. He wore black trousers that stopped right above his ankle joints with a orange stripe running down at the left side. At his foots he wore black ninja-sandals as well, and didn't look at all as scary as his sister. He flashed a foxy grin that looked happy, and not evil.

"Uzumaki Naruto and Uzumaki Kyuubi makes entrance!", Naruto called out, gaining lots of sweet-drops and a hit on his head by his sister.

"Urusei, baka!", she yelled at him. "We are fucking late because that you had to eat your fucking ramen even when you oversleep you fucktard!" Then she turned to Iruka. "Sorry that we are fucking late, Iruka, but my brother is fucking impossible it wake up! Damn it!"

She jumped and landed with a thump at her favorite place in the left corner, that was empty. Naruto sat down in the closet seat. Iruka looked at the twins. They where so different.

"Okay, but don't be late next time... Now, as I was saying before. The Genin-exam test will be at the Bunshin no Jutsu. Come to the room beside this when we call your name."

Naruto became white in his face, began sweating and was getting panic. '_Oh no! Kyu-chan is going to murder me! Of all jutsu's that exist, why that one?! It is that jutsu I'm the worst at...!! But I have to do it... Just wait!_'

Kyuubi was sending glares at the girls with a scowl. She bit herself in her pierced tongue, clicking with the piercing. '_Naru-chan is going to fail. That is his worst jutsu after all. Maan, I wish I could use mirages in place of those clones, they are just a waste of chakara. Well then, if we have to..._'

The test progressed fast, one after another came out with a headband. Kyuubi barely passed, but her clones just held a couple of seconds. She took a headband as she left and fingered at the plate with a sign. Naruto was called up, and he made one clone. A very, very bad clone. When he came out without a headband Kyuubi walked over to him and hugged him.

"Let's go outside, ne, Naruto? A bit away from the others, so we don't need to hear those guys. You just got too much chakara for that idiotic jutsu, and it is a waste of time to learn them. I'll teach you mirages some time, okay?"

He smiled a sad smile at her. "Thanks, Kyu-chan."

They left. Kyuubi stopped dead in her tracks after a while of quiet walked. "I forgot! We need to buy new food. I'll meet you later, okay?"

"Okay", he agreed and saw her walk away with a bitter look, he wanted to become a ninja as well.

He walked on.

"Naruto-kun", a voice came from behind and Naruto turned around, to recognize the person.

"Mizuki-sensei...?"

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Later, random roof_

"Don't become angry at Iruka-sensei...", Mizuki told Naruto. "He is strict, but believe me, he is as strict to himself as he is to you."

Naruto looked at the Chuunin. "But... Why is it always me?"

Mizuki looked at him and smiled a nice smile. "Maybe because he is a orphan? I think he just want that you will become strong... And make it on your own", he told the boy. "I know that he don't mean any harm. Try to understand him. He sees himself in you, and only because of that..."

Naruto looked down again. "But... It would have been fun to become a ninja."

"All right then", Mizuki smiled.

"Eh?"

"I will tell you something..."

Just coming out from a shop Kyuubi focused her chakara to her ears and started to listen, accidentally getting to know what Mizuki told Naruto and her eyes narrowed.

"Damn it... Damn you, to trick my fucking idiotic brother like that..."

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Night..._

_With Kyuubi._

Kyuubi was stealthy following Mizuki as she ran to Iruka's home and knocked at the door. '_I know that you will lead me to Naru-chan later, you fucktard, so I'll just follow you_', was the thoughts swirling around in her mind. She saw Iruka open the door.

"What is it?"

"Hurry! It is a gathering at Hokage-sama's place! It seems like Naruto-kun did steal the Forbidden Scroll...!!"

Kyuubi sighed. This was going to become a long night.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_With Naruto._

Naruto was panting after his training. A shadow came over too him and he looked up.

"Well then, so it was here you where", a scarred Chuunin said as she forced a smile at Naruto.

"Ha ha! Uncle nosebleed! I found you!" Yes, it was Naruto.

"It is _I_ that found _you_, you little **brat**!!", Iruka yelled at Naruto activating his Gigantic Evil Demon Head no Jutsu as he screamed at the boy. Then he noticed the condition Naruto was in.

"He, he, he... That was too fast... I that only got the time to learn one single jutsu", Naruto answered.

"Young boy...", Iruka spoke. "You look terrible, what have you been doing out here?"

"Ah! Nothing at all! I will show you a jutsu I've learnt!", Naruto called out. "If I can make it so can I become a ninja, right?!"

'_What? So he was training here all the time?_', Iruka thought, even if he didn't notice two persons closing in at hem. "Naruto...", he started, getting a 'Hm?' as answer. "The scroll you got on your back..."

"This scroll?", Naruto asked looking at it. "Mizuki-sensei told me where to find it. And he also told me that if I learnt one of the jutsus at it so was I going to become a ninja without any question about it!"

'_Mizuki?_', Iruka thought, then he noticed one of the two persons close by, he got Naruto out of the way and got hit by a couple of kunais thrown at himself, unable to dodge. Mizuki was standing in a three.

"You got here", he spoke.

"Well then... Then I understand!" Iruka.

"Naruto. Give me the scroll." Mizuki.

"What... What is going on... What? What?!" Naruto.

"Naruto! Protect that scroll with your life!!", Iruka yelled. "The jutsus that stands in it is dangerous, forbidden ninjutsu! Mizuki did just use you to get his hands on that scroll!"

As Mizuki was about to speak the thing he was standing on was cut of by a claymore. Kyuubi landed at the ground and turned around, pointing at Mizuki, that gotten to another three.

"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!! YOU ARE A SUCH FUCKED, SCREWED UP FUCKTARD THAT I WANT TO KILL YOU!!", the girl yelled at him. "HOW DARE YOU TRICK MY FUCKTARD TO A BROTHER TO STEAL THE FORBIDDEN SCROLL?!"

Mizuki was surprised, so was Iruka. Mizuki spoke first.

"How did you know?"

"Do you think I'm a motherfucking idiot or what?", she scoffed. "Sorry, but I happens to overhear you, you god-damned fucker, talk to Naruto, so I fucking followed you around and at last I fucking found here when you fucking got here!!" Then she smiled at Naruto. "Go and fucking beat him up for the first fucking time of his fucking arrogant life, Naruto!"

As she said that Mizuki threw one of the two huge shurikens he had at his back at Naruto, and Iruka got exactly on time to protect him, getting the weapon in his back, the twins eyes widened.

"Why do you protect that demon?!", Mizuki shouted.

"Naruto isn't a demon", Iruka spoke as Kyuubi gently helped him to a three. "He is one of my best students! I give you my word on that! A fighter... Stubborn, but a little clumsy, and never recognized... He knows what it means to suffer... He is no demon. He is the ninja from Konoha, Uzumaki Naruto."

Mizuki reached for his second huge weapon. "Ha! I believe that as much as I want to do! Iruka... I was thinking at taking care of you later, but screw that... DIE!!"

He charged at Iruka, as if he forgot the twins, and a knee conected with his fice, sending him down from the three. Naruto landed with a thump at the ground, as Kyuubi cheered from behind, with one foot at the scroll.

"Lay one finger at Iruka-sensei and you are dead!", Naruto growled.

"N... No! You idiot! What are you doing?! RUN!!", Iruka yelled at Naruto.

Kyuubi shook her head. "Iruka-sensei, you know how skilled Naruto are with his wire and gaunlets, even in Taijutsu", she said, making Iruka shoked how little she cursed. "But that fucktard is underrestemating my brother, and for that he is going to fucking die! Naruto isn't anywho, he is my fucking brother, damn it!"

"Ha, ha, ha! A little kid like you I can take easy with my left!", Mizuki yelled.

"Just try, you piece of shit!", Naruto said, doing a handseal. "I will give back in tousands!"

"Well then, try then if you dares to, you damn demon!!", Mizuki yelled at Naruto.

"Tajuu Kage Bunchin no Jutsu!"

And then Mizuki was surronded by one tousand clones, and Kyuubi was laughting with her hearts desire at his face as he looked arouynd.

"What! What the...!?", Mizuki yelled, and Kyuubi answered:

"You fucking idiot! If you fucking tell Naruto that he can become a fucking ninja if he learns a fucking jutsu of his choise, He will learns the fucking jutsu!!"

"Well? Come on then! Weren't you supposed to take me with your left?", att Narutos asked at the same time. "Then I have to begin then!"

"AGGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Whaok. Aaggh. Bam. Wham. Thok. Swish. Thok. Wham. Gwaa. Bash.

They looked down at Mizuki that was at Narutos feet as the clones was dispelled. He scratched the back of his head.

"He, he... I maybe hit him a little to much..."

"No shit Naruto! That fucktard deserved it!" You get a cookie if you can guess who.

"Naruto, get here a bit", Iruka smiled. "I have a present to you."

Naruto got over there and closed his eyes. When he got to open them again Iruka had tied his headband to Naruto's head.

"Congratulations, baka, to your exam", Kyuubi grinned.

"Tonight we have to celebrate! It is ramen!", Iruka stated. "I'll pay!!"

As Naruto hugged Iruka Kyuubi scoffed.

"And you better buy me lots of strawberries, you fucktard Iruka!", she spoke. "But, fuck... Welcome in the family."

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Some day later..._

Naruto yawned as he sat up in his bed, and got out in the kitchen. There was already a breakfast done for him, and a message with a nine-tailed fox as signature. He took it and read it as he ate the breakfast and drank some milk.

**Naruto. This will be your breakfast, and you better fucking eat it, put the things back and so on. No more dinner-ramen and breakfast-ramen, you need to eat something better. See you at the academy, but I have to buy more weapons. I'll buy you more wire as well.**

**Kyuubi -doodle-**

He singed and got dressed in his normal outfit, and as he reached his goggles he noticed the headband, he grabbed it in stead and put it on before he rushed to the Academy. Well there he sat down at a free place beside around the dark aura around Kyuubi. Her headband had the cloth shifted to red and she had tied it into the bandage where she had her Kunai-holster. A random classmate walked up to him.

"What? Naruto! What are you doing here?", he asked. "It is just real students that is allowed here today!"

"Hahaa! Don't you see the headband, huh?", he answered.

"Excuse me, can I come past?"

Naruto looked over there and saw Hanuro Sakura. Naruto had a huge crush on her, but he didn't dare to ask her out because of his twin sister, as usual. Said redhead noticed it and stood up as she walked down.

"Naruto, move your ass!! I want to sit at the other side!!", she yelled as she felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned her head, to meet green eyes.

"I don't get what you see in some fucktard like the Uchiha", Kyuubi snarled, "but don't be fucking rude to Naruto, he might be a fucking idiot, but he isn't someone you can fucking act however you fucking want to."

Naruto's eyes narrowed. Uchiha Sasuke was the most popular among the Kunochi, in fact there was just two girls that wasn't his fan-girls. Kyuubi grabbed Naruto and dragged him up to her place, as she hit him on the head, she didn't want him to be near Sakura, and now there was a cat fight between every girl in class about who where going to sit beside Sasuke, including Sakura and not counting Hyuuga Hinata and Kyuubi herself. Iruka walked in.

"Sit down at your places. Now", Iruka said and everything stopped. In some matter of seconds everyone was at their places. Then he started to talk. "...and today you are all real ninjas... But! You are still genins. It is now the hard begins! So... From today you can get missions from the Hokage. You will be in groups of three, or four in one case, and each group will get a Jounin as a teacher. That teacher will be your leader and follow you when you do your missions."

'_Hn...! Groups at three or four? The other two or three will just be in my way..._', a boy with duck-ass style black hair thought.

'_I have to get into the same group as Sasuke-kun!!_', a girl with pink hair thought.

'_If just Sakura-chan or Kyu-chan is in my group I don't care who the last one is. Just if it isn't Sasuke!_', a blond boy thought.

'_Naru-chan better be in my group. And hell if I get Sasuke or Sakura..._', a scary female redhead thought.

"We've already decided the groups so the balance becomes good", Iruka finished.

"WHAAAAAAAT?!", the biggest part of the 'Genins' yelled.

"Team 1...", Iruka began and started listing the groups. "Next! Team 7. Hanuro Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto...", the pinkette hung her head, the blond boy cheered and the scary redheads dark aura became murderous. "...Uchiha Sasuke..." The black-haired boy stayed emotionless, the pinkette cheered, the blond boy hung his head and the scary redheads aura darkened more. "...and... Uzumaki Kyuubi." The pinkette started to sweat, the blond boy cheered, the black-haired boy became very pale and the scary redhead flashed a evil smile.

"Iruka-sensei!! Why do I that's so good have to get into the same group as that guy?!", Naruto yelled.

"...Sasuke is the Ninja of the Year. He was best of all 28 students! And Naruto... You where the worst! Got it? The group should be balanced. Then it will be like this. Because Sarutobi understood that keep you and Kyuubi apart she, as the Kunochi of the Year, got to be in your group." Iruka stopped there.

"Hn. Just look so you aren't in my way...", Sasuke spoke up, "...dobe."

"Fuck off, you fucktard!", Kyuubi growled. "Don't you fucking dare to disrespekt him! If you even dare to fucking underrestimate us, I'll let you fucktard taste of _Hyokoden_!"

"Wait, what!?", Yamanaka Ino screached. "That cursing tomboy is the Kunocho of the Year?! I tought I was that!!"

"It is fucking easy to become the Kunochi of the year, banshee", Kyuubi scoffed back. "Expecally since you all just care about one thing, and that is your looks. Eat and train more, so do you might have a fucking clue about what this fucking life is about!!"

"SILENCE!!", Iruka yelled. "Team 8 is Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino. Team 9 is still in circulation, so there will not be a team 9 this year. Team 10 is Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Choji and Yamanaka Ino...", as he took team 11 he stopped. "You will meet your leaders after lunch. Meeting then!"

Kyuubi sighed and picked up one lunchbox from her weaponpunch and a instant-ramen cup. She handed the later to Naruto before she opened her lunchbox, wich was full of dango. She started to eat.

Naruto blinked. '_What is it with Kyu-chan and dango, really? I bet no other sarcastic ninja eats it..._'

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Dango-shop_

Anko sneezed as she was about to take a bite of her dango. She growled.

'_The one who talked about me is going to die!_', she tought as she took the bite of her dango.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Back at the Academy, much later..._

Kyuubi sat down with a black aura surronding her. Their teacher was three hours late, and he better have a good excuse, or else she was going to go to closest training spot. She looked at Naruto that was looking outside. Sakura looked at him.

"Naruto!", she called out. "Sit down for once!"

"But... Like why is our teacher the only one that is so damn late?", he asked, taking after a redhead in his language. "Every other team has already left for a long time ago! Not even Iruka-sensei is left!"

Kyuubi grumbeled over that he had right, Sasuke glanced at Naruto and Naruto...

"No!! What the heck are you doing? Naruto!!"

Naruto used a table to put up a trap in the door. He jumped down and landed as she spoke:

"It is the teachers fault as he is to late!!"

"You and your pranks!", the pink-haired banshee growled. "I'm not going to take any responsibility!"

'**I actually like things like this!**', Inner Sakura giggled.

"Ha!", Sasuke spoke. "As if a Jounin would actually fall fot that stupid trap..."

"Hell yeah! It is that fucking fucktard to a teachers fucking fault!", Kyuubi grinned. "Even if it is fucking unbelivible that the fucktard is going to fucking fall for it!"

The Jounin came, opened the door and fell for the trap. Kyuubis eyes widdened in chock over that he fell for it and Naruto laughted.

"Kya ha ha ha ha!! He fell for it! He fell for it!!" Naruto.

"Sensei... Gomen... I tried to stop him, but..." Sakura.

'**Exactly as planed! Awesome!**' Inner Sakura with tumbs up.

'_Is that really a Jounin? Not really impressive..._' Sasuke.

"What the fuck? The fucktard fell for it?!" Kyuubi.

The Jounins eye became a upside-down U as she 'smiled'. "Hm... How shall I put it...", he said. "My first impression of you is..." Silence. "Hate!" A gloomy aura surronded the 'Genins'. "Meet me at the roof."

And so he was gone. In a puff of smoke. Kyuubi walked to the window and opened it, just to swing herself up to the roof. The other three took the stares.

"So, now you all are here", the Jounin spoke. "Well then... You can start with present yourself."

"...what are we going to say?", Sakura asked.

"Your names. What you like... Dislike... Dreams... Hobbies... Something that way."

"Well then, fucktard! Can't you fucking tell us about yourself first, you fucking sensei?", Kyuubi asking, not laying down at her curses.

"Yes... You look a bit odd...", Sakura agreed.

"Eh... Me?", the Jounin asked. "My name is Hatake Kakashi. What I like things, I dislike things. My dreams has nothing with you to do, and my hobbies is nothing to speak about with kids present."

Sakura looked disappointed and spoke to Naruto and Kyuubi:

"Eh... He didn't tell us anything beside his name..."

"Your turn. We'll begin with you, Pinky."

"My name is Hanuro Sakura... I like...", she glances as Sasuke. "Eehh... And... My hobbies is...", glances at Sasuke and blushes. "My dream is...", glances at Sasuke and squeals. "I dislike Naruto and the Kyuubi bitch."

"The feeling is mutual, fucktard", Kyuubi growled.

"Next, Broody."

"Uchiha Sasuke. I dislike a lot of things, but likes... Nothing special. And... Not because I'll let it become my dream, but I have a goal. To revive my family and to kill a man."

Sakura blushed. '_God so cool Sasuke-kun is..._'

Naruto paled. '_He doesn't mean... Me, right?_'

Kyuubi scowled. '_Why are the bitch blushing? He didn't say he where going to revive his clan with _her_..._'

"_You next, blondie_."

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I like instant ramen, train, when Iruka-sensei give me ramen at Ichiraku and my sister! I dislike the time that it takes for instant ramen to cool and when people harms my sister! My dream is to become Hokage or the ANBU Commander!! And to get the whole village to accept me! My hobbies is to play pranks and train... I guess..."

"Last you, weaponry."

"My fucking name is Uzumaki Kyuubi. I fucking like dango, train, swords, my claymore, her fucking name is Hyokoden, and my fucking idiot to a brother. I fucking dislike a lot of things, but the fucking list include the fucktards in the village and the fucktards in the council. My fucking hobbies is to mess with the fucking council and to train, and my fucking dream is to... Become the fucking Hokage or if my brother becomes it, I want to become the fucking ANBU Commander."

'_Oh, god save me... A hyperactive ramen-obsessed Hokage-wannabe, a avenger, a fan-girl and a cursing tomboy that likes making things hard for the council... Did I do something to anger Hokage-sama? And if I don't let them become ninjas the council will degrade me to a Genin myself..._'

"Good! It will do as a presentation! Tomorrow you will get a mission. It is a job for just us five. A survival training..." He got mixed reaction, where of Naruto didn't get anything, Sakura was sceptic, Sasuke was emotionless and Kyuubi started to curse worse then a sailor. "This survival training is different... It is against me you need to survive."

"Then! Then!", Naruto began. "Like what is this training?!"

Kakashi giggled. "Sensei...", Sakura spoke up. "What's so funny?"

"No... Very well... It's just that... When I tell you this you guys are definitely going to flip."

"Flip? Ha?" Naruto.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" I'm not even going to type it, you get who it is.

"Of the 28 students that graduated from the Academy, only nine, or ten if this team is included, will be chosen as Genins. The rest will be sent back to the academy", Kakashi spoke. "This test I'm going to make you take has a failure rate at 66 percent." Kyuubi started to curse even worse, Sasuke paled, Naruto panicked and Sakura seemed green. "Ha ha ha! I told you that you where going to flip!"

"Then what is the fucking point of fucking take that god-damned Genin fucking exam?!" You know... It is obvious who that was...

"Oh... That? That is just to chose those Academy students that is allowed the chance of becoming Genin..."

"WHAT THE _FUCK_?!"

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Kumo..._

"_WHAT THE FUCK_?!" (1)

"You heard that, Killer Bee?", a woman with sandy blond hair and slinted, purple eyes in jounin attire asked. "I thought I heard someone yell..."

"I sure did, Yugito-o", a tanned man with the tattoo of two horns answered as he tried to rap. "I wonder who it was-o."

Yugito sweat-dropped.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Back to Team 7_

"You will be graded at the training field. Bring your weapons and other tools", Kakashi told them. "And skip the breakfast or you will trow up." He walked over and gave them one paper each. "The details stands at this paper. Don't be late."

"Trow up? Is the test that hard?" Sakura.

"You have to fucking stand to fucking trow up if you fucking want to become a fucking kunochi. Get a life, you fucktard to a fan-girl." Yup. Kyuubi.

That night was Naruto training to fight against a doll of Kakashi while Kyuubi learned everything that got to know about Kakashi and his test from adults and scrolls...

* * *

**(1)** Yes, it was Kyuubi's voice that was being heard to Kumo. And if you don't know who Yugito or Killer Bee is, remember: Spoiler warning of doom! But don't know who Yugito is? That person needs to read/watch more Naruto!!

-

**My dictionary!!**

_Jii-chan _- Old man

_Kenjutsu _- Sword Techniques

_Yondaime Mizukage _- The Fourth Water Shadow

_Urusei _- Shut up

_Baka _- Idiot

_Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu _- Mass Shadow Clone Technique

_Hyokoden _- Ice Legend

-

**Notes:**

**Kyuubi cursing**: Yes, I did that because I wanted to! Cursing bad-ass, powerful females is the best thing I know beside manga and anime!! ...and lots more, but as personality it is the best thing I know!

**Kyuubi-Sakura relationship**: Kyuubi don't think Sakura is good for Naruto, and I seriously think so to. But because of that Kyuubi does the best she can to scare Sakura away from Naruto. Sakura thinks Kyuubi is planing on stealing Sasuke, and therefore she hates her.

**Kyuubi, dango and strawberries**: Yes, Kyuubi loves dango and strawberries as much as Naruto loves ramen. Don't ask me why, I just felt like doing that.

**The Kyuubi no Kitsune?**: To put it simple: In this story, there is more then one Kyuubi. The Kyuubi that attacked Konoha isn't a demon in this story: It is Naruto's twin sis! Anyway, the other Bijuus are still sealed inside of their Jinchuurikis. Akatsuki still exist. But I have no idea why they should be after Kyuubi and Naruto. I would love to get help with that.

**Pairings?**: There maybe will be pairings. Maybe is the keyword. But here is what I don't do: I don't write yaoi (nor yuri). I will not do NaruSaku (but I can do SasuSaku). I will not pair someone together with someone high above they age (NarutoxTsunade, SakuraxKakashi and so on...). But I think KyuHida would work. Actually, I'm starting to think out ways for they to get together. You are free to do decisions. I'll maybe do a poll later... And by the way... NO HAREM! Sorry, harem-lovers, I am a harem-lover too but I have to figure out a way to do normal pairings before I move over to Harem.

-

**Kyuubi**: So, fuck it... What is going to happen next?

**Kyuuki**: I... Will try to figure out a way to write the bell test. It is hard. And it might be a bit long between the updates at this story, I got Transform into Dreams and the school to.

**Sasuke**: Why did i pale when I heard Kyuubi's name?

**Kyuuki**: Because I wanted you to! I'm the almighty author! Fear my wrath! Or rather my typing...

**Sasuke**: DIE! CHIDORI!! -Charges at Kyuuki-

**Kyuuki**: -Trips Sasuke and breaks his arm in the process- That will not work at me! Because I can do anything! **MO HA HA HA HA HA HA**!!

**Naruto**: Oh, please...

**Kyuubi**: I fucking agree. It is up to us to fucking say that!

**Naruto/Kyuubi**: PLEASE/FUCKING REVIEW!!

_Word count: 5780 words_


	2. Let's do the Bell Test!

**Warning: **Powerful!Naruto, Powerful!OC, OCC-ness, None-demon Kyuubi, four members in team 7, might be bad jokes, cursing, techniques from _Claymore_.

**Pairings: **Undecided if it even will be pairings...

-

**Typing:**

Narrating  
_Scene shift/Flashback/Time shift  
_"Talking"  
'_Thinking'  
_'Quoting'  
Jutsu  
**Written message  
**'**Inner/Demon Speaking**'  
'_**Inner/Demon Thinking**_'  
"_Scream from far away/Communicator_"  
"**Hologram speak**" (Yes, it is the Akatsuki holograms I mean)  
(Author comment)

-

**Pairing volting:**

_Naruto:_

Got four tips of FunnyLaugh. Let the volting for Naruto's pairing begin!

NaruIno 0  
NaruAnko 0  
NaruKure 0  
NaruFemGaa 0

Volting for Kyuubi's pairing is at my page... Here is it so long:

KyuKiba: 2  
KyuNeji: 1  
KyuGaa: 1  
KyuHida: 1

Keep on voteing!!

-

**If I did own Naruto, Naruto would kick ass, I would be in as the Kyuubi's younger sister, Sasuke would die, everyone in Akatsuki would be alive ('specially Hidan), Naruto wouldn't be in love with Sakura: He would be in love with a girl that likes him, Shikamaru and Temari should be getting married and girls should be more powerful then boys (beside fan-girls, they are always weaker then boys! FOREVER!!). **This is just my way to say that I don't own Naruto. I don't know any techniques from Claymore I put in. Now, can you please let me go from this Tsukuyomi now, Itachi?! -Panicing, is surronded by pink, fluffy and cute things with My Little Ponny's and Baby Talk- THIS IS TOURTURE!!

* * *

The next morning, two times after set time, Naruto and Kyuubi showing up, Kyuubi holding a box under her arm an eating dango from a stick in the other arm. She seemed to enjoy the moment, and Naruto was eating from another dango stick. Sasuke was sitting towards a tree and Sakura was standing, stealing glances of Sasuke, hoping to win his heart. They sat down and each log.

"You are late!!" Sakura.

"Fucking save it in one fucking hour", Kyuubi growled. "We are not fucking late, our fucktard to a teacher hasn't showed up yet, so then we can't fucking be late. More dango, Naruto?"

"No thanks, Kyu-chan", Naruto answered. "I'm stuffed full of dango right now."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Sakura again. "We weren't supposed to eat breakfast!"

"This is... Snack. Not a fucking breakfast", Kyuubi defended herself, picking out six dango sticks trowing it to Sakura. "Damn it. Give three to the fucktard Sasuke and eat the rest yourself. You will fucking need it. To different from you I've been fucking studying and learnt so much I fucking can about our fucktard to a sensei and his fucking test. That wasn't against the fucking rules he set up."

Sakura blinked but did as she was told.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_One hour later..._

"Yo!", a white-haired jounin greeted waving a bit with his hand as he came walking. Sakura twitched, Kyuubi ignored him, clicking with her piercing, Sasuke was annoyed and Naruto was fixing with his wire.

"YOU ARE LATE!!" Sakura.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Kyuubi and Naruto.

"Maa, maa... Sorry, I got lost at-"

"-the fucking road of the fucking life? Save your fucking excuses to later, sensei", Kyuubi growled. "Let's do this fucking test already."

Kakashi blinked, then he walked over and put a alarm clock at the stock in the middle and started it.

"I have put the alarm clock on 12 o clock. I have three bells..." Kakashi showed up said three bells. "Your mission will be to take it from me before 12 o clock. Those that hasn't been able to take a bell before 12 o clock don't get to eat any lunch. They will be bound to the logs there and watch me eat."

'_Oh dear god! Thanks a lot Kyuubi! I will never not listen at what you say again_', Sakura though. '_Thank you!_'

'_I'm glad that the Uzumaki girl gave me that dango_', Sasuke though. '_Even tough I don't like dango..._'

"You have to take one bell each. I just have two... One of you will end up tied up. ...and the one that doesn't get a bell will fail! Which means... At least one of you will move back to school... Use Shuriken if you want... Or something else. You have to want to kill me, or else you won't be able to get the bells."

"But...! It... It is dangerous for you, sensei!", Sakura called out. "We will harm you!"

"Shut the fuck up bitch", Kyuubi growled. "Who the fuck do you think he is? No... Who the fuck do you think _you_ are?"

"I agree with Kyu-chan on this one, Sakura-chan", Naruto grinned. "A Genin fresh out of the Academy wouldn't have even a chance to defeat a Jounin if he is going all out."

Kyuubi's and Naruto's eyes turned from normal to murderous. They nodded quickly to each other.

"Well... You seem to know what a jounin is... And you actually look like you want to kill me, both of you... That's good. He he he... At least I'm starting to like you...! Then We'll start. Ready, set... GO!!"

Four shadows disappeared. Soon Kakashi was alone out in the open. Kyuubi was shielding her chakara and aura to that a ANBU should be unable to find her, the same with Naruto. They had taught themselves that while running away from mobs that sometimes had ANBU in them. Kyuubi turned to Naruto, and meet his eyes. He nodded and did a seal, whispering the name of the technique. Suddenly there was two Naruto.

"Get out there and test Kakashi-sensei", Naruto whispered to the clone. "Don't use the wire. We have to have some sort of surprise left. Go."

The Kage Bunshin nodded and was of.

In the opening Kakashi looked around. "A Shinobi should always hide his or her aura and stay hidden." He glanced around. '_Sakura..._' In a bush. '_Sasuke..._' In a tree. '_Kyuubi..._' He stopped for a moment. He didn't feel her chakara. His eyes narrowed. The girl was good. A Rookie Genin shouldn't have this ability. '_Naruto..._' Just as he thought that he felt someone come from behind, and he jumped away just to avoid to be hit by the claws of the gauntlet on Narutos right hand. The boy grinned.

"Yo, Kakashi-sensei", he greeted.

"Shinobi fighting technique number 1: Taijutsu", Kakashi spoke. "Do you want to learn?" Hen he picked up his perverted book and suddenly felt a huge wave of KI. 'What?'

"Oh, you really shouldn't have picked up a Come Come-book", Naruto grumbled. "Kyu-chan will go mad now... Really mad..." He shuddered. "She already is... Well then..."

So he moved, and did a hand seal, three more Kage Bunshin showed up and ran against Kakashi in random directions, as Kakashi blocked their attacks Naruto attacked, but only to stop for not hitting his own clone. He turned around and attacked Kakashi that had showed up behind him, and Kakashi blocked and dodged the best he could, not having time to read his book. Soon the four Naruto stopped and jumped back. They grinned.

"See you later, sensei!" With that they dispelled themselves.

'_What was that for a jutsu?_', Sasuke though. '_It was four of the dobe..._'

'_Not illusions... Real clones?_' Sakura.

'_Oh, he fought me with Kage Bunshins? He taught himself it from the Forbidden Scroll...! And that he could use it so well..._' Kakashi.

In a hiding place nearby two persons was hiding well. The girl turned to the boy. Kyuubi smiled.

"Well?"

Naruto sighed.

"We will not stand a chanse if he goes full out. Even so, he don't want to kill us, so I think we could get the bells. If not all, one or two. If it works as planned."

Kyuubi nodded. "Good. But first the other two have to get they stand no chance. Otherwise, they will not accept it."

While they was talking, Kakashi seemed to drop his guard. Sasuke used the moment to attack with shuriken and kunai. Just as Sasuke tought he got him, it came out it was a log. Sasuke growled.

"He deliberately dropped his guard... Damn it, I walked right into the trap!" With that he jumped away the fastest he could to escape.

Sakura was running at the other side. '_Sasuke-kun... Where are you? Don't tell me he already... No! Not Sasuke-kun of everybody...! It should never happen!_' Suddeny she noticed Kakashi and hid behind a bush. '_I made it! He didn't notice anything!_'

"Sakura!", Kakashi said in front of her. "Behind you!"

She turned around and stared right at Kakashi's face. He did a seal and became leafs. She became sleepy and suddeny a huge wind surronded her with leavs. She looked around.

"Eh?! Eh?! What was that?!", she called out. "What happend? Where is Kakashi-sensei?!"

"Sakura..."

The girl stopped looking around. '_Wait... That is..._' She smiled and turned around. "Sasuke-kun!!" Then she stopped.

"Sa... Saku... Raa...", Sasuke said. He was missing a arm, had his left leg twisted in a funny way and had a lot of shuriken and kunai stuck at his body. "He... Hel...p... Me..." (Wow, this should be a hell of a cliffhanger, but I'm not that evil. Really.)

Sakura became pale. "GHYAAAAAAAA!!" Then she fainted.

"... I maybe overdid it...", Kakashi stated where he sat in a tree.

'_Hell, that has to have been heard all the way to that new village Oto..._' This was the thoughs of both Naruto and Kyuubi.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_In Oto..._

Orochimaru perked up when he thought he heard a scream. He was almost buried in paperwork. He looked at Tayuya that came into the room.

"Did you hear that?", he asked. "The scream."

"Fuck no", Tayuya answered. "I think you should fucking take a fucking break from your god-damned paperwork, Orochimaru-sama."

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Back to the Bell test..._

"A scream...", Sasuke spoke up high. '_It was Sakura..._'

"Shinobi fighting technique number 2: Genjutsu", Kakashi spoke up, leaning towards a tree behind Sasuke. "The little girl fell easy for it."

"I'm not as easy tricked as she is..."

"You can talk like that when you got the bell", Kakashi answered, "Sasuke-kun... The villages best student... One of the heirs to the Uchiha-clan... This will be interesting..."

Sasuke got in attack stance and used three shuriken to attack, which Kakashi avoided with ease.

"You will not gain anything with straight attacks!"

Sasuke smiled a small smile and one shuriken cut of a rope, activating a trap. Kakashi avoided it and suddenly Sasuke showed up behind him. Kakashi blocked and caught his foot, Sasuke hit towards him and Kakashi caught it with the other hand. So did Sasuke attack with his free foot, having Kakashi to raise his arms to block it, leaving the way free for Sasuke. He smirked and almost caught a bell. They got away from each other.

In another part of the forest Sakura woke up. "Huh? ...I..." She suddenly remembered. '_That's right! Sasuke-kun was dieing... And when I saw it... I..._' She got up and started to run. "Sasuke-kuun!! Don't die without meee! Where are youu!"

Kyuubi and Naruto was watching The Sasuke-Kakashi fight with almost none breaths at all, they was as quiet as possible. They smiled at each other.

"Sure, I agree that you are better then Sakura! But I have yet to test Kyuubi, and I have a feeling Naruto didn't use his all..." The hidden twins paled.

Suddenly, Sasuke started doing hand-seals.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"

"Wh... WHAT?!" Kakashi was chocked. '_No genin should be able to use that Jutsu... Their Chakara should not be enough...!!_'

Sasuke breathed a huge fireball towards Kakashi. When it disappeared said jounin was gone with the wind. Sasuke reacted directly.

'_Gone! Behind me? No, above? Where is he?_'

"Below you", Kakashi's voice echoed. Sasuke looked down and saw two hands grab his ankle joints. "Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu!" They shifted place. Just Sasuke's head stuck out of the ground and Kakashi looked down at him. "Shinobi fighting technique number 3: Ninjutsu! But who would have tough you should be so good already. Very well... The nail that sticks out is beat down... You can say that..."

As Kakashi left he soon stood face to face with Kyuubi.

"Yo, fucktard, Nice show with the fucktard Sasuke", she grinned as she held her claymore easy with one hand. "Let's see how fucking long I can last!"

With that she charged at him, and just as Kakashi thought she was going to attack there was suddenly more of her, surrounding him. She attacked from his side as he barely avoided as the others of her faded, she attacked again, and now he felt something was of. She had focused some chakara in her swords arm, and suddenly he had to dodge a huge account of fast attacks. She smiled.

"Fucking surprised that I use my fucking lovely sword so well? I've been fucking training with her in five fucking years!"

With that she charged again, and he suddenly faced a five of her, she attacked as he had to dodge. Then he heard the bell jingle. Wait... _The _bell? As in only one? He looked at his hip and noticed that he just had one bell.

"Nice work, Naruto", Kyuubi said, and said boy jumped down from a three, holding two of the bells.

Every time Kyuubi had charged at Kakashi Naruto had used his wire. He had charged it with chakara so he could move it as if it was a part of his body and grabbed one bell. The last time did he miss.

"Sorry, was unable to get the last one, Kyu-chan. Let's go!"

Kyuubi put her sword back at her back and they jumped away. They noticed Sakura and Sasuke talking.

"Wh-what... Are you going to try again?", Sakura asked.

"I just barely tutched it at one try", Sasuke answered. "Next time I'll take it."

The twins chose that moment to show up. They stood at each side of Sasuke all of a sudden, Kyuubi was grinning her evil grin as Naruto smiled a very fox-like smile.

"So you want to get the last fucking bell, huh, Sasuke-_chan_?" You get a cookie if you guess who. "Well, even if I wanted you two to fucking fail, so here! You get those."

Kyuubi handed Sasuke one bell, then she walked over to Sakura and gave her the last bell. The twins grinned as the alarmclock rang. Naruto grinned.

"Seems like we are going to get tied to the log, Kyu-chan", Naruto smiled. "Lucky we ate all that snacks huh?"

"Agreed..."

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Ten minutes later..._

Naruto and Kyuubi found themselves tied to one log each. The redheads sword was stuck in the ground beside her.

"I see... So about this little test...", Kakashi said, looking at them. "Well! You... ...don't need to return to the Academy."

Sakura cheered while the twins shared a glance. Sasuke... Well, the one that figures out what he did get a BIG cookie.

"That's great!", Sakura cheered. "All four...!"

"Yes, you can all four give up on ninjutsu!!" (I've said it before and I'll say it again: This should be one hell of a cliffhanger. But, I'm still not that evil.)

Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura became really choked while Kyuubi hide her eyes behind her fridge's shadow and put on a emotionless mask.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_With Sarutobi and Iruka..._

"Can I ask why you wanted to eat lunch with me?", the Hokage asked.

"Well... I wanted to know...", Iruka answered. "The leader of team 7... Naruto's and Kyuubi's team. Is he strict?"

"You are talking about Kakashi...?", Sarutobi asked, then he haded Iruka a small book. "Are you worried...? Here! This is Kakashi's grades on the Genins he handled."

Iruka's eyes widened. '_What the...?_'

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_With Team 7_

"What do you mean give up?! What do you mean by that?!", Sakura screamed. "Alright, I wasn't able to take a bell since Kyuubi gave it to me but why are you coming here and tells us all to give up?!"

"I mean that you all four is brats that hasn't the things that is needed." This made Sasuke angry and he charged, just to be held to the ground by Kakashi. "Well, what did I tell you? Brat!"

"He is stepping on my Sasuke-kun!!", Sakura yelled. "STOP IT!!"

"What in hell do you think a ninja is?! Well?", Kakashi stared at them. "Why do you think you been divided in groups? Why do you think you where working at groups at the Academy?!"

"Eh?", Sakura asked. "What... Do you mean?"

"I'm saying that you don't even understand the purpose of this test..." Kakashi.

"Purpose...?" Sakura.

"Yes, the purpose!", Kakashi answered. "The thing that decides if you pass or not."

"But...", Sakura started again. "What is it? I am asking..."

"Ridiculous...", Kyuubi mumbled. "THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULUS!! Even Naruto got it when I fucking told him of the groups and the fucking bell test - _yesterday fucking night_!"

"Ah! JUST TELL US WHAT THAT PURPOSE IS THEN!"

"What do you think, Sakura-chan?", Naruto asked. "It is teamwork."

Now Sasuke and Sakura reacted as they realised it.

"What Naruto said is right. If you everyone had come you might had been able to take a bell", he stated. "Naruto and Kyuubi had an excellent teamwork and strategy tough. That's why they succeed taking not only one, but two."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN TEAMWORK?! WHEN IT IS JUST TWO BELLS!", Sakura yelled. "IF WE HAD SUCCESSED, ONE HAD BEEN LEFT WITHOUT A BELL AFTER ALL! IT IS OF COURSE THERE BECOME A FIGHT!"

"Oh, fuckastic", Kyuubi growled.

"Of course! This is a test that encourages the team to fight. A test for taking out those that can ignore the own gain and think of the groups best, even if the situation is as it is. And what did you do?", Kakashi asked. "Sakura didn't help, hardly even noticed, Naruto and just though about Sasuke, that you didn't even have contact with! Sasuke decided that your teammates where just irritation objects and did a solo raid. We do our missions in teams! It is obvious that it is important that every ninja has their individual strength. But to work as a team is more important."

Silence.

"Solo raids tears the teamwork into pieces and puts your teammates in danger, and will lead to death, As an example..." Kakashi put a kunai to Sasuke's throat. "Sakura! Kill Naruto! Or else I'll slit Sasuke's throat!" There was panic erupting between the four 12 years old teammates. Then he let go of a unharmed Sasuke and put the kunai back. "...or something. Somebody is taken as hostage, and then there is a impossible choice. Every one of our missions is risking our lives. Every one!"

He walked over to a stone.

"Look at the names written in this stone. Those are the shinobi of the village that today is looked upon as heroes. But... Not as any other hero. This is the shinobi that died during their missions. It is a memory stone. My best friend's name is standing on this stone." He turned around. "Brats... I give you one more chance! But after lunch there will be worse. Do you want to take the chance, eat the food. But don't give anything to the Uzumaki-twins. The one that gives something can forget becoming a ninja. I choose the rules. Got it?!"

Then he was gone.

After eating a little they watched between the twins. Then Sasuke held out the lunch box in front of Naruto.

"Here."

"Bu... But Sasuke-kun! Didn't sensei tell us...!!" Sakura yelled, feeling a powerful glare in her back.

"No need to worry. I can't feel him close by. After lunch we have to get the bells all four. They is to a bigger help if they have eaten", he told them. "You feed Kyuubi."

"Thank you!", they said at the same time.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_With Iruka and Sarutobi..._

"But...", Iruka said, looking in the book. "But...!"

"Kakashi's test is maybe a little hard...", the older man answered. "Children are so easy to trick..."

"A... A little hard...?!" Iruka asked. "He hasn't even allowed one single team to pass!!"

"No... Kakashi hasn't passed one single students yet. Not even one has made it."

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_With Team 7_

A huge cloud of smoke appeared in front of the team and Kakashi's head shoot out of it, scaring or surprising the children. "YOU BRATS!!" He stopped and as he stood there he smiled a cheerful smile all of a sudden. "You have passed."

"Passed?", Sakura shouted. "Why?"

"You are the first team I've passed. Every other student I got didn't have any will at all and they did just obey my orders but they didn't understand what I told them. A ninja needs to se the trap behind the trap. 'The one that breaks the rules is called trash... But those that doesn't care about his comrades is even worse then trash'. A wise man once told me that." Then he flashed a masked version of the Good Guy pose. "The test is over! All three passed. From today on there will be missions for team 7!"

"What the hell?! DON'T USE THOSE GREENCLAD FUCKERS POSE YOU FUCKTARD (1)!!" You can guess who that is, right?

"Let's go..." Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke left... Leaving the twins.

"What the fuck? LET ME GO YOU FUCKERS!! DON'T YOU DARE TO JUST FUCKING LEAVE US HERE!!"

"I KNEW IT!! I KNEW THAT THEY SHOULD JUST LEAVE US!! LET US GO!!"

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_One month later..._

"_Fucking Nine Tails here. Five fucking meters from the fucking target_", a voice called through the communicator.

"_Maelstrom here. Six meters from the target..._", another voice followed,

"_Cherry Blossoms here. Six meters from the target_", a third voice answered.

"_Uke-fucktard here. And I really don't like the nickname, Kyuubi..._" A sicker was heard from the twins. "_Five meters from the target_."

"Good. Is the target the right one?", Kakashi asked.

"_Fucking is. I fucking see it from here. Can we move in, damn it?_"

"Yes."

With that the four genins jumped in, Naruto cached a cat with his wire and picked it up, tied in wire. He looked at it.

"_Ribbon at it's right ear. It is Tora. Annoying cat, we chased it three times this week!!_"

Kyuubi spoke in the communicator: "_The fucktard Tora is found and the fucking mission is complete... We are fucking returning to jii-chan's fucking office!_"

With that the four ninjas sat of.

At the office the Daimyo's wife Shijimi where hugging the cat to death. Kyuubi snarled when she heard a couple of bones in the cat's body break, Naruto felt sympathy for the cat while Sakura was starting to understand why it ran away all the time. Then Kyuubi threw a look at Sasuke, wondering what would happened with his duck-ass hair if she dropped a huge bunch of water at his head.

"Well... Next mission for Kakashi's Team 7...", Sarutobi spoke up. "Baby sitting the Rojun's son..."

"FUCKING HELL THAT WE'LL TAKE ON A FUCKING D-RANK MORE!!"

"Yeah! NO THANK YOU TO EVERYTHING! WE WANT BETTER MISSIONS! COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE!!"

The team looked at the twins.

'_There is something about what they said..._' Sasuke.

'_Gah! Just annoying missions!_' Sakura.

'_I though they where going to start complaining now..._' Kakashi.

"You brats! You are untrained, right out of the academy!", Iruka yelled back. "We all have to do this easy missions from the beginning!"

"Fuck it! We've been training as fucking insane the last few fucking weeks beside those fucking missions!" Kyuubi. "Sakura is starting to get the fucking hang of genjutsu from the fucking scrolls I found at the fucking liberty (2)! I am starting to get fucking better at Fuuton and Raiton! And fuck, Naruto is improving his fucking Fuuton as well!"

"Wait... You've been training?" Sasuke.

"Yeah, Sasuke-kun. Kyuubi started with training up my stamina, and I really don't want to talk about how she did it..." Sakura shuddered. "Then she gave me a scroll with C-ranked genjutsu and told me to master all of them. I'm soon finished with it."

"She is fucking quick to learn genjutsu", Kyuubi snorted. "I'm just fucking want to come to the point: We aren't weak shits anymore."

While the Hokage started talking about what missions where, Kyuubi was telling Sakura that she had one more C-rank Genjutsu-scroll and a C-rank Dojutsu-scroll, and as she and Naruto focused at weapons, basic Fuuinjutsu, Fuuton and lastly Raiton for Kyuubi and Suiton for Naruto. They learned everything from scrolls that they did buy or borrow. The did mostly borrow from the Hokage's public library as they was allowed to do so for the old man.

"LISTEN UP!!"

"Shut up, jii-chan. I just told you that you could fuck yourself since we are fucking better now!" Iruka and Kakashi felt a urge to bang their heads into the wall at Kyuubi's language.

"I understand. If you want it so badly." He smiled. "You will get a C-rank mission. ...you will escort and protect a person. You can come in now, Tazuna."

The door opened and the man came in, with a sake bottle.

"What the...! This is just a bunch of kids! Especially the shortest kid. This is ridiculous! I wanted ninja to protect me, not a bunch of kids. I'm sure they can't even harm a fly..."

"YOU WILL DIE!!" Naruto yelled that as he tried to attack Tazuna, being held back by Kakashi.

"Stupid! You have to protect him, not kill him."

"I don't fucking like him", Kyuubi growled. "Can I fucking murder him when the fucking mission is over?"

"No." Kakashi.

"My name is Tazuna, and I am a super famous bridge builder! Just so you know!", Tazuna stated. "I want you to super protect me with your lives until I build my bridge and returned home!"

Kyuubi snorted and glared at him, then she walked past him.

"Thanks for the sake!" She sounded cheerful as she left, and Tazuna noticed his lack of a sake bottle and turned around to see Kyuubi leave, with his sake bottle.

"I'll meet you at the port in three hours. Tell Kyuubi that too, Naruto. Pack your things." They nodded quickly and left. Kakashi left after them.

**Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi-Uzumaki-no-Kyuubi**

_Six hours later, the gate of Konoha..._

Kyuubi was looking around, feeling as if someone was watching her as she had stolen Tazuna's sake bottle again. She carried three scrolls at her hip, one containing _Hyokoden_, one containing Dango and one containing sake. She drank directly out of the bottle.

"Time to go!", Naruto called out.

"What are you so loud about?", Sakura asked.

"What? I've never been outside the village! Not Kyu-chan either!"

"Hey...! Can that kid really protect me?", Tazuna asked.

"Ha ha... Don't worry, I'm a Jounin." Guess who.

"Oi, old man! Don't walk around and think that you know something about me!", Naruto called out. "I maybe is really strong! One day I'll become the Hokage or the ANBU Commander! My name is Uzumaki Naruto! Remember that!"

"The Hokage?", Tazuna asked. "Isn't that the villages super best ninja? I have hard to believe that you can become that."

Then he got kicked where the sun don't shine by a redhead. "If I can't fucking murder him I can do that. Shut the fuck up! Who the fuck do you think you are?! Do you think our fucking weapons is just for show?! I'm tired as hell at your fucking attitude! Listen up, fucker, you have no idea who can become the fucking Hokage here. What the hell do you know? I've heard that Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage, was a fucking happy-go-luck fucker when he was in our age, and he became a fucking ninja in our age as well! So screw you!"

Then she turned to Kakashi. "Can we fucking leave now? Or I might kill him... Name's Uzumaki Kyuubi by the way, Tazuna..."

--

**(1) **Yes, Kyuubi and Naruto already got the douptfull honour to meet Gai and Lee. They freak Kyuubi out, but they got their Taijutsu training of Gai, so they had to stand the horror. I feel sad for them, actually. But I'm just evil. Pure evil. Anyway, back to the point: Even if they freaks Kyuubi out they might use things like 'Dynamic Entry' as a joke, but she wants so little to do with the feared 'Good Guy Pose' and the even more feared 'Genjutsu: Sunset of Yougth'. Notice that the later... -shudder- is made by a jounin that is hardly ever seen to use chakara and a guy that can't use chakara... Creepy...

**(2) **And now... As you probably remember Sakura and Kyuubi isn't so good friends. Rather enemys. Then why did Kyuubi help Sakura to train? Oh, let me explain... IT IS THE PLOT!! And that the feared 'Weak Girls of Rookie 9' have to be kicked away. Now, Kyuubi's reason... She don't want Sakura to be weak, as she can drill some fear into said girl in the training as well. The stamina thing... Let's just say it was to avoid Kyuubi's experiment: The Elemental Bombs. She had to avoid lesser fire bombs, ice bombs, electricity bombs and wind bombs as well as normal bombs, exploding tags and so on... I feel a bit sorry for her...

-

**Notes:**

**Yaoi and Yuri**: Well, since someone asked to pair Kyuubi with a female Gaara I thought I had to make this clearer. I don't write Yaoi. I don't write Yuri. Kyuubi and (male) Gaara would work though... To the point: I will only write straight pairings. Maybe some one sided Yuri/Yaoi pairings if you absolutly want it, but otherwise ther will be nothing of it. Thank you.

-

**Kyuuki**: Well, I hope you liked this chapter...

**Sasuke**: Why didn't you send me to train too?

**Kyuuki**: Because you are the most powerful of all in Team 7 in the real manga, I don't want to over-power a traidor and I want to let Naruto kick your ass before the time skip, and Kyuubi after the time skip. Then both of them after the time skip! Mo ha ha HA HA HA!!

**Kyuubi**: Crazy author, but... I would fucking quit if I had to fucking train a fucking stuck up Uchiha. So go and fuck yourself.

**Naruto**: Who will say it this time?

**Sakura**: I'll do it...

**Kyuuki**: MO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

**Kyuubi**: Hurry then, Kyuuki is still laughting as an insane...

**Kyuuki**: I AM INSANE!!

**Sakura**: REWIEV OR I'LL TRAP YOU IN A GENJUTSU! SHANNARO!!

_Word count: 5858 words_


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